The S.P.A.M Conspiracy (ranting -- sorry)

          After emptying the two-hundred odd pieces of mail in my various spam filters, I have come to the conclusion that it is part of the world wide conspiracy to drive folks like us from the Internet and force us back into our drear, mundane offline lives.
          Think about it. How high is your tolerance for advertisements like those for penis enlargers (especially if you're a woman and don't have the requisite "equipment", coupled with those from such -- are they people or sites? -- with monikers like monica69 and hotbabe47, especially if you're a heterosexual female. The dead giveaways for those are the subjects "I saw your photos online" when you have no photos online, most especially of the nature which they seem to imply.
          Assuming that it is a conspiracy, who's behind it? Several possibilities spring to mind.

1. The Greys. These extraterrestrials, so titled (by Whitley Streiber and perhaps others) because of their skin tones, can no longer kidnap and tag folks wo are either sleeping or camping, because everyone is too busy either checking their email or playing onlnie games for a mere alien abduction. A solitary writer or other offline person, OTOH, is prime for such abduction because there's no way to keep track of time under such circumstances (so long as you have auto backup of ducuments, of course). Nah, scratch that one. ;-)

2. President George W. Bush. He'd rather folks hang on his words than on the Internet disabusing them.

3. Alfred E. Neuman (Hey, you knew I'd have to bring MAD into it somehow, right?)

4. It's an Illuminati plot.

5. The Brain wants to use it to take over the world (just ask Pinky).

          Ah well. There are others but I need coffee right now.
          Spam. Maybe it stands for Some People are Meanies -- err, marketers?




Regards,
Elizabeth Anne Ensley.